A friend shared this lovely poem that speaks to the importance of recognizing the imperfection that lives in every relationship.
Listening to the Koln Concert ~ by Robert Bly
” After we had loved each other intently,
we heard notes tumble together,
in late winter, and we heard ice
falling from the ends of twigs.
The notes abandon so much as they move.
They are the food not eaten, the comfort
not taken, the lies not spoken.
The music is my attention to you.
And when the music came again,
late in the day, I saw tears in your eyes.
I saw you turn your face away
So that others would not see.
When men and women come together,
how much they have to abandon. Wrens
make their nests of fancy threads
and string ends, animals
abandon all their money each year.
What is it that men and women leave?
Harder than wren’s doing, they have
to abandon their longing for the perfect.
The inner nest not made by instinct
will never be quite round,
and each has to enter the nest
made by the other imperfect bird. “
WHAT DO YOU LONG FOR IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP?
What Makes You Smile Like Nothing Else Can?
Contemplating a Kiss….An Exquisite Example; a view into healthy adult attachment.
If watching this video leaves you longing now is the time to ask for help, whether you are single or married, newly partnered, married for years or looking for someone special. We now have unlocked the door to the science of love. There is a new understanding of how to help people find and understand how to nurture and cultivate loving attachment bonds like never before.
Good Research + Good therapy + Motivated Clients Willing to Be Open to Life = Deeper Levels of Love, Connection, Security and Hope.
Is your relationship suitcase on the verge of exploding when you and your spouse venture out in public? Is it possible to “keep up appearances” so that no one really knows the two of you are secretly miserable, fighting all the time or contemplating separation?
No, it’s not possible! Don’t be fooled. It’s human nature to sense when things are not OK when witnessing others interact. Although some people are not clever enough to sniff out the trouble that lurks beneath the surface waters of your relationship, most of your close friends and family; all those who truly love and care about your well-being can see your blind spots clearly. The clues are perceptible in the blink of an eye; in your body-language, and facial expressions. Keeping yourselves from slipping up at an in-opportune time and spilling the secret is like perfecting a high-wire act in a thunderstorm. Most importantly, it’s painful and the emotional trauma one endures secretly when stuffing strong emotions is destructive to physical and emotional health over time. Not to mention if you have children it sends a parenting message that false facades and hiding emotions is acceptable even in your most important and primary love relationships. AKA, bad parenting by example.
So what is keeping you from getting help?
What if, as a society we spent more time being proud of how hard it is to have a good marriage? What if it was more socially acceptable to outwardly and publicly admit that you want to be happier in your marriage and you are working on it……..in the same way you work to get ahead in your profession, in the same way you expect your children to work at school. What if you could look across the room, catch your partners eye and have that feeling that you are the luckiest person on the earth? What if you could set a loving and powerful example of how to find happiness together again for the other couples you know are also struggling?
What if YOU and your partner had the most amazing relationship in your social circle?