Working to understand each others signature strengths and virtues is a tool I use to help couples appreciate and know each other better. Watch this video to understand the value of this knowledge and cutting edge new psychology.
“What are your strengths…..you have super powers and focusing on your strengths and those of others helps you make a better version of yourself…….Pause and ask yourself: Does what I am about to do accurately reflect who I am and what and who I want to be?”
Another amazing Brene Brown Ted Talk. Watch this video. The gift of the knowledge she shares will be worth every minute of your time!
In this compelling and intriguing new article The Tao of Anger Management with Christian Conte. the opportunity to begin
the process of therapy by focusing on the core of pure empathy and attunement with another suffering human being is presented. Christian Conte shares the need for others to: “Just imagine if everyone in your life defined you by your worst moment, that this moment accompanied you like a badge of shame throughout your life, limiting all future possibilities, including your hopes and dreams.”
Using examples of extreme cases of anger and violent behavior from his years of working with convicts he draws a picture of the need for new methods of compassion and empathy for struggling individuals and society at large. He shares his fascinating method of therapy which is based on “Yield Theory”. A theory rooted in principles of ancient Taoism.
It has been said that Winston Churchill was fond of referring to his recurrent battle with depression as “the black dog coming to visit.” This video expands on that metaphor with a great message.
A friend shared this lovely poem that speaks to the importance of recognizing the imperfection that lives in every relationship.
Listening to the Koln Concert ~ by Robert Bly
” After we had loved each other intently,
we heard notes tumble together,
in late winter, and we heard ice
falling from the ends of twigs.
The notes abandon so much as they move.
They are the food not eaten, the comfort
not taken, the lies not spoken.
The music is my attention to you.
And when the music came again,
late in the day, I saw tears in your eyes.
I saw you turn your face away
So that others would not see.
When men and women come together,
how much they have to abandon. Wrens
make their nests of fancy threads
and string ends, animals
abandon all their money each year.
What is it that men and women leave?
Harder than wren’s doing, they have
to abandon their longing for the perfect.
The inner nest not made by instinct
will never be quite round,
and each has to enter the nest
made by the other imperfect bird. “
Want to send a message of You’re Still the One….this is such a sweet video, evocative of love and connection….sending the message of let’s start over. Come on, life, relationships…never perfect…..start over…breathe and be in love.
Reading a quality relationship self-help book with your partner can be one helpful avenue to take as a way to enhance the process of professional therapy. Research tells us that couples who choose to read Hold me Tight while they are in therapy show slightly better outcomes.