Strengths and Virtues

Working to understand each others signature strengths and virtues is a tool I use to help couples appreciate and know each other better. Watch this video to understand the value of this knowledge and cutting edge new psychology.
“What are your strengths…..you have super powers and focusing on your strengths and those of others helps you make a better version of yourself…….Pause and ask yourself: Does what I am about to do accurately reflect who I am and what and who I want to be?”

A compelling new article “The Tao of Anger Management” with Christian Conte

In this compelling and intriguing new article The Tao of Anger Management with Christian Conte. the opportunity to begin

couple fighting

the process of therapy by focusing on the core of pure empathy and attunement with another suffering human being is presented.  Christian Conte shares the need for others to: “Just imagine if everyone in your life defined you by your worst moment, that this moment accompanied you like a badge of shame throughout your life, limiting all future possibilities, including your hopes and dreams.”

Using examples of extreme cases of anger and violent behavior from his years of working with convicts he draws a picture of the need for new methods of compassion and empathy for struggling individuals and society at large.  He shares his fascinating method of therapy which is based on “Yield Theory”.  A theory rooted in principles of ancient Taoism.  

 

“The Other Imperfect Bird”

Flying birdsA friend shared this lovely poem that speaks to  the importance  of recognizing the imperfection that lives in every relationship.

Listening to the Koln Concert ~ by Robert Bly

” After we had loved each other intently,
we heard notes tumble together,
in late winter, and we heard ice
falling from the ends of twigs.

The notes abandon so much as they move.
They are the food not eaten, the comfort
not taken, the lies not spoken.
The music is my attention to you.

And when the music came again,
late in the day, I saw tears in your eyes.
I saw you turn your face away
So that others would not see.

When men and women come together,
how much they have to abandon. Wrens
make their nests of fancy threads
and string ends, animals

abandon all their money each year.
What is it that men and women leave?
Harder than wren’s doing, they have
to abandon their longing for the perfect.

The inner nest not made by instinct
will never be quite round,
and each has to enter the nest

made by the other imperfect bird. “